my dolls, take it from me-- a recovering people pleaser-- it's time to stop worrying about what other people think.
i have to say, one of my favorite things about getting older is that the urge to make everyone around me happy is losing steam. i don't know how or why it happens, but it just does.
one day you wake up and think to yourself: "wait a second! this is MY life."
and from that moment on, you begin the journey of loving your own ideas, your own instincts, and your own decisions.
and in case you were worried... somehow, miraculously, you still end up nurturing, adoring, and taking care of the people you love. and you still want them to be happy... but you do it effortlessly, and without resentment. you do it because you want to.
it's pretty cool.
so, tell me, are you a people pleaser?
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33 notes:
i am totally a people pleaser....and sometimes it really sucks because i end up doing things i dont want to do becuase i feel bad... it is slowly going away though.
i cnat wait till its gone because i dont want to feel bad!
I'm the worst people pleaser. I've been trying to stop for a very long time, but it is not working.
I stopped trying to please people along time ago, and you're absolutely right - it puts the joy back into nurturing your loved ones as you are doing it because it makes you happy!
What a fantastic quote. I'm printing this off and putting it on my wall. I used to want people to like me (which is a close cousin to people pleaser) but you are right in saying that as we get older it matters less.
I am the worst people pleaser. It has manifested itself in some pretty sticky self-esteem and codependency issues that I am in the midst of working on right now. Wish I'd learned that lesson a long time ago!
I've been a people pleaser forever, but it's losing it's shine. Slowly, but surely, it's all changing. It causes too much stress, and it's never worth it. Thank you for this post - love that quote!
I am certainly guilty of wanting to please everyone and in the process ending up pleasing no one completely, especially myself. Thank you for posting this! It's exactly what I needed to hear today. :)
Love this post! It's so true. I have definitely made progress in the journey of letting go of my people pleasing tendancies!
on the other hand, if i stop caring about what other people think then i am more likely to blow people off and end up with no friends, so that's not great either. sorry i've just been having this problem lately.
So many girls..women say "Sorry" ..way too often.
I tend to respond with "We don't apologize for anything ever". Which is just another way of owning what you do. If were bad today, we can still be good tomorrow or even in a few seconds.
Thank you for this post! I have struggled with this for a long time. I liked what you had to say!
Nope! It's ok to say no if you need to. People will still be your friend and they will respect you more.
Wow, I've been thinking about this all week long. Almost exactly! Weird. I'm trying to make a change because I've realized that while trying so desperately to please the ones I love, I'm actually drawing us apart. The people I love want to see me for who I am, not someone who merely reflects their interests and needs. It is really amazing that you posted this today, considering the happenings in my life right now. <3
this may make me sound like a bit of a jerk, but i'm not a big people pleaser. that doesn't mean that i don't feel bad about my choices sometimes, and of course i want the people i love to be happy and i do take their thoughts/suggestions/advise into consideration, but i believe that ultimately everyone is responsible for their own happiness. my mom always says that my favorite word is "no". ;)
Absolutely not....not sure why but I just never really have been. Of course I want those around me to be happy but I know that it is not my job to do so.
ladies, i love that so many of you are good at saying no! woot!
This is just perfect. Precisely what I needed to hear at this exact moment.
thank you. this is exactly what i needed to hear today!
oh dear, i am quite the people pleaser, and i definitely resent doing it later (more often than not). i'm working on figuring out what i want, and working to get it rather than throwing myself in front of other people's "needs" buses (does that make sense?) thank you for being an inspiration in putting yourself first!
I hope you don't mind, this inspired me for a post of my own. Linked to this post in my blog. Thanks!
im definitely a people pleaser with friends but with my own nuclear family? Not really. I dont know why. Maybe i need to re-prioritise?
I'm with you....I used to be such a people pleaser that I really wasn't pleasing myself. I do think that age changes that. Maybe with age we realize just how precious our time and our lives are. For me it was almost instant. One day I woke up with the ability to say no, gracefully. I realized that saying no was a bigger deal in my own head than it was to the people I would say no to. So funny!
Thanks for the friendly reminder. I've had a relapse in people pleasing lately.
i used to try to please people and then finally one day stopped. Why should i worry about pleasing them, im not living for them. i am living for me! only i can make myself happy! so why wory about making someone else happy!? You can't love someone else until you love yourself! make yourself your number one priority!
I am definitely a people pleaser which I know hinders my ability to really be myself and live a free and honest life. I often think too hard about what others think especially when it comes to my choreography and art. I have friends who are the same way (the plagues of being an artist and dancer) and I am usually good at giving them advice, another element of my people pleasing. I wonder why I can't take my own advice. I should listen to myself, I know I have the answers. I just need to trust myself.
Your post is beautiful and a wonderful reminder to make sure that I make myself a priority. Thank you for your beautiful blog. xoxo H
I'm amazed at how much I am starting to realize this very thing. I am making a conscious effort to remember that this is MY life.
I used to be SO BAD at this...but I'm slowly getting better. I loved this post :)
This is exactly what I needed to hear Nina. Thank you so much for keeping your Life Lessons part of the things you post! I for one love them so much and hope to see more. Love...love...love you blog !! :)
what a beautiful post.....
i'm going to make it my thought of the week....
such a beautiful life lesson. keep them coming!
thank you so much for this life lesson. i'm not so much a people pleaser as i am an oh-my-gosh-what-are-people-going-to-think-of-me-if-i-do-this kind of worrier. i'm always afraid that people are going to look down on me or think i'm weird. i have no idea why i do that. :D
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this is so, so true! I've always been a people-pleaser, and am just now at almost 30 figuring out that it's MY life! It's really exciting when that urge to please others is replaced with the urge to please yourself. Totally liberating!
I agree, this is a profound truth - probably one of the most important things people can know.
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