growing in love (guest post)

good morning! today i am delighted to share a guest post from the talented and lovely author, bridget mcnulty. she has a new book out, strange nervous laughter, and i will be posting information about a give away later today. so check back soon! and in the meantime, enjoy! (p.s. doesn't she have cute bangs?)

Growing in Love by Bridget McNulty

I had the most delightful tea date with two of my friends last week, and the conversation turned (as it always does) to relationships... Only this time, both friends were in relationships, which is rather unusual. 

My man and I have been together two and a half years, but most of my girlfriends are still single, so it was odd to have three of us talking about our partners and the impact they have on our lives. What was so interesting for me, though, was that for the last year or so these same friends have been speaking longingly about getting a boyfriend, and now that they have one, they've realised that being in a relationship can be pretty hard work.

Which isn't to say it's not wonderful... I love having someone to come home to, someone who knows where I am at all times, and cares about how my day is going, someone who I can be deliciously playful and silly with. I love being in love. And a lot of that is because it is such. a. challenge. It forces me to grow into a better person. And I think this is what's so fascinating about love, because we don't often read about it, or see it in films or TV shows. Love is a challenge because it's not just about you any more... Life is now about the space between the two of you a lot of the time, and you've pretty much handed over your heart (and control thereof) to your partner. It took me ages and ages to come to terms with the fact that another person could affect how I felt, the control freak in me riled at the thought!

For me, love is also about sharing my space. I love love love being alone, and my greatest moment of love realisation was when I discovered that my man is the only person I don't get sick of spending time with. A lot of this is because we can be alone together, but I think that a really powerful test of love is spending large chunks of time together.

And it's a test that you couldn't get alone, which is what makes it so special. I guess that's what I'm trying to get at here, that there comes a time when you realise that there is only so much you can learn alone, that there are only so many life lessons you can come to terms with on your own, before you need someone to leap in there and challenge you to grow in love. Being in love, for me, is all about widening my capacity for love, stretching the limits on my previously limited life, and learning to risk, and play, with another human being.

Growing in love. It's a pretty extraordinary thing, don't you think?

bridget mcnulty is a passionate writer inspired by why people act the way they do. her first novel, strange nervous laughter, was published in south africa in 2007 and in the usa in may 2009. find out more about her and read her blog at www.bridgetmcnulty.com. 

xo,